tjgs-300x300-i-tunes-logoSeries 2 is here! The Jolly Good Show is returning to your devices through the power of the podcast!

This series will be better than ever with Jolly Good podcasts to liven up those winter days with even the addition of an extended Christmas special.

The Jolly Good Show stars Danielle Plummer, Robert Hall, Rob Stringer, Simon Lloyd and Tanya Smith. It is written and produced by Brigit Foster and Emma Gascoigne for Abrupt Audio (http://www.abruptaudio.com).

In this episode:
Modern life sucks doesn’t it? But not when you see it through the Jolly Good Show’s eyes. Kick off the second series of The Jolly Good Show with a unique 7.5 minute view of the world around us. This is the perfect way to start your week off. So what are you waiting for? Get involved. Download now.

And make sure to hit subscribe on any of your podcast devices to get the next episode automatically.

 

Show Transcription:

I.T. Talk

IT DIRECTOR: You were warned in the interview that it is key to us you fit in with our work ethic.  But, someone with your experience and qualifications will not find that difficult at all.

MARK: Absolutely.

IT DIRECTOR: Shall we do this then.  When I open the door there we shall cross into the I.T. zone which means that we can no longer behave in the same way.  Is that ok with you?

MARK: Lets live it….

IT DIRECTOR: I’m glad you said that because that’s exactly how we see things too!

SFX: Door opens

IT DIRECTOR: Past that line there is Sally, one of our brightest and best.

SALLY: span equals more than sign who are you colon equals more than sign backslash equals more than sign.

MARK: Huh?

IT DIRECTOR: span equals less than sign b equals more than sign HTML ONLY equals less  than sign back slash b equals more than sign.

MARK: Can we go back, please?

IT DIRECTOR: Do you not know HTML?  You said in your “href CV” you were proficient in it?

MARK: Well, I know it.

IT DIRECTOR: But, are you telling me you don’t speak it?

MARK: No, I don’t speak it. Who speaks in HTML?

SALLY: We all speak it here.

IT DIRECTOR:   STOP HYPHEN OX00000001E OXF24A447A COMMA….contract has been terminated..  Close bracket you’d better leave. Enter.

MARK: Unhappy face

IT DIRECTOR: That’s emoji you fool.  Just get out.

END

F/X UPBEAT BACKGROUND MUSIC

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Man And sometimes I open extra tins and throw the contents away, just so I’ve got more cans to crush!

Advertiser Yes never again will you need to idle the afternoon away watching repeats on TV and the aptly named “Pointless.” Why would you: “CrapGadget” reveals a host of pointless activities of your own!

Man I’ve got no time for golf or friends anymore!

Woman And I’ve had to quit the WI and give up seeing my grandchildren …

Together since we discovered “CrapGadget”!

Advertiser “CrapGadget”: you’ll wish you’d never retired!

End

The Bus Driver Interview

F/X DOOR CLOSING

Carole So this is Roy Frost, Stephen. He’s here for the bus driver interview.

Stephen Pleased to meet you, Mr Frost.

Mr Frost (officiously) You can’t say that.

Stephen (taken aback) Well; I usually do.

Mr Frost You don’t know yet if you’ll be pleased to meet me or not. And don’t put that briefcase there. It’s blocking the aisle to the exit.

Stephen (taken aback) But I always put it by my desk: it’s where I keep my sandwiches.

Mr Frost Sandwiches: in a briefcase! They should be kept chilled. And what if we need to evacuate? That briefcase would hinder alighting in an orderly manner per regulation 7, subpara 2.

Stephen Oh. I’d never thought of that. You’re very well versed in health and safety, Mr Frost. And I see here you got a merit in your diploma?

Mr Frost Should’ve been a distinction. I thought of appealing but, I’m not one to complain. I’m too much of a people person.

Stephen But you did pass your officiousness exam?

Mr Frost Naturally. It’s in my blood, what with my mother being a doctor’s receptionist for 30 years.

Carole And what strengths do you think you’ll bring to the role?

Mr Frost I don’t drink and drive, I’m punctual and I’m a good multitasker.

Stephen Can you give us an example?

Mr Frost Well, I can cheerily wave to an oncoming bus driver while simultaneously swearing and talking under my breath about other road users and/or passengers.

Carole OK. Good. So, the next part of the interview is role play.

Mr Frost What do you mean?

Stephen We like to see how our bus drivers deal with everyday situations: so passengers without the right change, or who stop the bus simply to ask when a different bus is going elsewhere.

Mr Frost Oh, I’ve no time for silly exercises! You’ve either got the skills to deal with the public or not; it should be obvious.

Stephen Yes. Well. You’ve certainly got something. Carole, is there anything else we needed from Mr Frost before we conclude?

Carole No. No. You’ve certainly made an impression, Mr Frost.

Mr Frost Right well. I’ll be off. I’ve a schedule to keep to.

Carole Oh there was one more thing. Salary.

Stephen I’m in demand so they’ll be another interview along shortly.

Stephen Next you’ll be telling us they come in threes!

Mr Frost What’s funny about that?

Carole Well, Mr Frost, the starting salary was in the pack but we prefer people advance up the scale, rather than start at the top.

Stephen No. I’ll need the exact amount. No change given.

Carole We do need a moment to think about it.

Mr Frost Come on; come on! I haven’t got all day.

Carole Welcome aboard, Mr Frost. You’re an ideal hire!

The Chase

SFX: ALARM.  THEN A CAR DOOR SLAMS SHUT.

MR THIEF: Drive or I’ll shoot.

ALICE: Oh my.  Right.

SFX: PUTTING SAT NAV ON

MR THIEF: What are you doing?  Drive or I will shoot.

ALICE: Just setting up the sat nav.  Where do you want to go?

MR THIEF: I don’t care I just need to go….now!

ALICE: Ok.   I’ll just…..

SAT NAV V/O: Turn right at the end of the road.

ALICE: I drive much better when I am being patronised cos I learnt to drive with my husband.

MR THIEF: Can you go a bit faster, please?

ALICE: Oh.  I thought I should keep to the limit the sat nav tells me?

MR THIEF: No.  You need to go faster.  Have you never done this before?

ALICE: No weirdly being a getaway driver is not a skill I have been endorsed for on LinkedIn yet but after this is done I will certainly add that to my profile so do endorse me, won’t you, or alternatively please do so on ratemygetawaydriver.com.

MR THIEF: I should have gone there to start with.  Would you drive faster?

SAT NAV SFX: SPEED CAMERA WARNING.

ALICE: Oh wait.  Got to slow down a bit as it’s telling me there’s a speed camera.

MR THIEF: Have you not got this?  I’m a scary criminal.  I have just robbed a bank.  If you don’t do what I say I will kill you.

ALICE: Ok.  Calm down.  I’ll speed up a bit.

SAT NAV V/O: At the end of the road, please make a U-turn.

ALICE: Oh.  She’s telling me to turn around.

SAT NAV V/O: Turn around.

MR THIEF: You can’t turn the thing around.  There’s a police car.

SFX: SCREECHING

SAT NAV V/O: Turn around NOW.

MR THIEF: Would you shut it up. NOW.

SAT NAV V/O: Calm down dear.

MR THIEF: Carry on with your lip and I will shoot.

ALICE: I didn’t say anything.

SAT NAV V/O: Go left and you have reached your destination.

ALICE: That’s handy, nearly there!

MR THIEF: Why have you brought me to the police station?  That’s it.

SFX: Sound of a shot

Policeman: You’re nicked.  For robbery and murder of a sat nav.

ALICE: Don’t forget to endorse me?

END